Parents will often ask how they should behave if their child absolutely refuses to either go to their rooms for a time out, does not accept a consequence or refuses to comply with a directive.
One option is to use the all stop approach. This is how it works.
1. Parents should begin an all stop approach by first explaining the program
to their child by using this hand out. If the child has a therapist, having
them, as a neutral party, explain the process to the child is even better.
2. The next time there is something the child must do but is refusing to do,
remind him once but not more than twice to do what is asked. Reminders
must be done in a polite respectful voice.
3. If your child still does not do what is asked, the parents say “OK, ALL
STOP. That means that nothing comes from us until you do what you
4. During an all stop, the only thing a parent tells a child is “is it done yet?
Remember, nothing from us until it is done”.
5. During all stops, family members avoid interacting with the child. Meals
are not served, no homework help is offered and there is no chat at bed
6. When the action requested gets done, everything goes back to normal.
The issue is not discussed and no apologies are necessary.
This approach works when the child is refusing a consequence or time out that
could be carried out in a few minutes. The program is not appropriate if the task asked for takes more than 10 to 15 minutes to accomplish.